More Ianto's IM's
by Ianto'sCoffeeMinion
Summary: Ianto starts a friendly conversation with Rhys, but Jack being Jack has to gate crash and offer insights into thier sex life, making Rhys blush. FYI-Rhys's on-screen name is , but it dosent seem to show up JANTO!


**IM's**

**CoffeeKingJones **has initiated the conversation.

**CoffeeKingJones: **Heya Rhys! Long-time no see!

**Rhys-e-pops: **Hiiiiiiiii mate!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Luvin' the name…Gwen?

**Rhys-e-pops: **Busted!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Mowhaha! I usually change it when she's around, whens she's not In sight I change it back! Skillz!

**Rhys-e-pops: **Ohhh good plan!

**Rhys-e-pops **has changed their display name.

**: **Like it?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Its…Nice?

**: **Have you heard the company jingle?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Yes! Gwen won't stop playing it! Jack threatened to wipe the whole existence of it if she didn't stop playing it aloud, that doesn't mean she's not still playing it through her headphones though!

**: **He didn't! gotta luv mi wife though, she musta been persistent!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Believe me, she was! And I know, pure evil that man!

**: **So I take it you like it then?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Course I do! I gets stuck in your head, then sing it all day! Stroke of genius it is! HARWOODS!

**: **Thanks mate! I appreciate it :)

**CoffeeKingJones: **S'ok ;)

**: **Hehe! Sooooooooo….

**CoffeeKingJones: **How's it in the Cooper household?

**: **Cooper? You mean Williams?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Nope. Definatley cooper!

**: **Thanks for the vote of confidence

**CoffeeKingJones: **No problem! Aha!

**: **Naw, things are fine. Cleaned the oven just the other day

**CoffeeKingJones: **Ohhh I like a clean oven!

**: **Was that supposed to be innuendo?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Nope, Jack does that kind of thing; I just stand there looking pretty whilst rolling my eyes!

**: **I thought u said u hated it when Jack called you pretty?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Noooooo he calls me 'cute' :( I AM NOT CUTE! Although I can call myself it when I'm feeling vain, but don't tell him that! mowhahaahahahah!

**: **Nice!

**CoffeeKingJones: **I prefer to think of it as devious! hehe! ;)

**Ianto'sBitch: **Don't tell him what?

**CoffeeKingJones: **If you care to read the conversation you'll know ;)

**Ianto'sBitch: **Can't be bothered

**CoffeeKingJones: **That's you attitude to EVERYTHING!

**Ianto'sBitch: **Why should I bother when I have a very sexy Welshman who will do it for me at twice the speed and precision that I would have…no choice really…

**: **I'm guessing the name was Yan's idea?

**Ianto'sBitch: **Yup! Do you really think I would de-grade myself otherwise?.. Lost a bet :(

**Ianto'sBitch** has changed their name.

**CaptainCojones: **Like it?

**: **Inventive…

**CoffeeKingJones: **Hey! I didn't say you could change it back!

**CaptainCojones: **I'm Sowwwwiiiii 3

**CoffeeKingJones: **You're forgiven ;)

**: **Riiiiiight

**CoffeeKingJones: **Under one condition…you take your feet off that bloody table!

**CaptainCojones: **Ok, ok! Donnnnnnnnnnne!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Good boy

**CaptainCojones: **Ohhhh were playing that game are we?

**CoffeeKingJones: **In your dreams Jack, in your dreams…

**CaptainCojones: **You are my dream

**: **Ahw, I thinks that's the ol' Captains way of expressing his affection for you…

**CaptainCojones: **Hey! Less of the 'old'

**CoffeeKingJones: **Well you're not exactly young either are you Jack?...

**CaptainCojones: **Thanks for reminding me…

**CoffeeKingJones: **Anytime ;)

**CaptainCojones:** Why are you online anyway? I thought you were 'busy'

**: **Ianto's in trouble, Ianto's in trouble…

**CoffeeKingJones: **I was 'busy' but now I'm not :) and Rhys, I can never get in trouble, its one of the perks of sleeping with the boss you see ;)

**: **Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

**CoffeeKingJones: **Hehehehehehe!

**CaptainCojones: **You can still get punished though ;)

**: **Here we go…

**CoffeeKingJones: **My words exactly!

**CaptainCojones: **What!

**: **You should come with a parental guidance warning slung around your neck

**CoffeeKingJones: **Aha! Yeah! Maybe a bell too so people know your coming

**CaptainCojones: **I think I give you enough warning ;)

**: **God help me…

**CoffeeKingJones: **You'll need more than that to escape the Harkness wrath!

**CaptainCojones: **Ohhhh its got a name has it? I like names!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Could have fooled me…you hardly remember them

**CaptainCojones: **Only if it's something important

**: **Mate your digging yourself a hole

**CoffeeKingJones: **Yup I agree!

**CaptainCojones: **What is this? Gang up on Jack day?

**CoffeeKingJones: **No, 'cos I think you'd like that too much

**CaptainCojones: **You know me so well

**: **You two are practically joint at the hip!

**CaptainCojones: **Well…

**CoffeeKingJones: **Don't even think of saying it!

**CaptainCojones: **Alright, alright…wife

**: **I was just about to say that!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Hey! You're the wife!

**CaptainCojones: **Nope. Defiantily you…Cleaning…Check!...Obsessed with clothing…Check…Does everything for me…Check!...Cooking…Check! Shall I go on?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Blood 'ell I am the wife…

**CaptainCojones: **Told you so

**: **Ianto can cook?

**CaptainCojones: **Haven't you tried it? Its gorgeous, just like him :)

**: **I'll have to try it sometime, anything's gotta be better than Gwen's!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Oh!I'm getting compliments; I must be doing something right

**CaptainCojones: **Everything you do is right…I don't think you've even done something wrong in your life.

**CoffeeKingJones: **I have, and you know it

**CaptainCojones: **You've just ruined it now :(

**: **I hate to break it to you, but no ones perfect

**CaptainCojones: **Ianto is

**CoffeeKingJones: **Right that's it, hand it over…

**CaptainCojones: **What?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Whatever you've taken to put you in this very complimenting mood

**CaptainCojones: **I'm just being me, it isn't my fault you don't take me seriously…

**CoffeeKingJones: **That's because you've usually done something wrong to compliment me

**: **Ianto mate, just take the compliment!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Ok,ok! Thank you Jack

**CaptainCojones: **That's ok :)

**: **If you ever need a marriage counsellor I'm always available, but you'll have to check with the missus first

**CaptainCojones: **Oh, we won't be needing that, we do some counselling of our own, and it works ;)

**CoffeeKingJones: **Sex is his answer to everything.

**: **Huh! I know that! Anyway, better be going, I'm going out with Dav and Banana Boat in 10 :)

**CoffeeKingJones: **Byeeeeeeee :)

**CaptainCojones: **Syonara Suckkkkkerrrrr

**: **Right…

_is offline._

**CoffeeKingJones: **I think you hurt Rhys-y Kins' feelings

**CaptainCojones: **You spend wayyyyyyyy to much time talking to him when you could be with me

**CoffeeKingJones:** Is someone jealous?

**CaptainCojones: **No! Me, jealous…huh

**CoffeeKingJones:** …

**CaptainCojones: **Ok, ok, im jealous…happy?

**CoffeeKingJones:** Very.

**CaptainCojones: **If you weren't busy you could have come up to my office and we could have finished the 'dabbling' we started this morning before we were so rudely interrupted.

**CoffeeKingJones:** But then you would have stopped doing paperwork, which needs to be done ASAP by the way, and you would have never got them done.

**CaptainCojones: **Or I could have done them after?

**CoffeeKingJones:** You would have complained that you were to exhausted, or just forgot about them.

**CaptainCojones: **Then you could have reminded me!

**CoffeeKingJones:** You know I can't think straight with you doing that to me!

**CaptainCojones: **Hehehe! I love that I have that effect on you!

**CoffeeKingJones:** You like it a bit too much I think! Groping me like that under the table in one of Gwen's meetings! She nearly bit my head off for interrupting her!

**CaptainCojones: **You should have been quiet then

**CoffeeKingJones:** Well if I knew it was going to happen I would have supressed myself!

**CaptainCojones:** I thought you knew everything?

**CoffeeKingJones:** I do.

**CaptainCojones: **Well then, you should have seen that coming, with you being sexy an all. How am I expected to keep my hands off of you?

**CoffeeKingJones:** There's a little something called restraint.

**CaptainCojones: **There's also a little thing called lust….anyway, if you didn't wear the Cute Suit then I might have been able to hold it, just until she had finished talking

**CoffeeKingJones:** So now you're naming my suits, you really have got a problem

**CaptainCojones: **What can I say, you're addictive

**CoffeeKingJones:** You make me sound like a drug…

**CaptainCojones: **You are…my own personal brand of aphrodisiac ;)

**CoffeeKingJones:** I like that :)

**CaptainCojones: **Thought you would…do you like it enough to come to my office now?

**CoffeeKingJones:** Maybe…

**CaptainCojones:** Pretty please?

**CoffeeKingJones:** Only because it's you :)

**CaptainCojones: **Careful, anyone would think you love me or something

**CoffeeKingJones:** I do love you

**CaptainCojones: **And don't I know it ;)

**CoffeeKingJones:** See you in five :)

**CaptainCojones: **Fives tooooo lonnnnnnnnng!

**CoffeeKingJones:** I've gotta shut the computer down, turn the shut sign on the tourist office's door, shut down the power…ect.

**CaptainCojones: **OK, be quick, love you :P

**CoffeeKingJones:** I will, love you too :)

**CaptainCojones: **

**CoffeeKingJones:** Bye Jack :)

**CaptainCojones: **Bye,:)

**CoffeeKingJones:** :)

**CaptainCojones:** :)

**CoffeeKingJones:** You know I hate to be the one to end the conversation…let me have the last word!

**CaptainCojones: **But I'm the captain!

**CoffeeKingJones:** Yeah, and the quicker you sign off the quicker I can get up to your office

**CaptainCojones: **Yes! Ok! Going now, bye :)

**CoffeeKingJones:** Bye :)

**CaptainCojones: **Oh and Ianto?

**CoffeeKingJones:** Yes?

**CaptainCojones: **I've invited Gwen and Rhys around to taste you cooking, bye

**CaptainCojones **_is offline._

**CoffeeKingJones:** Bollocks.

**CoffeeKingJones **_is offline._


End file.
